111 Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes

And the hits just keep on coming!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the joke pool, we’re not done yet!

There are still plenty of Dad Jokes yet to be discovered.

What is the most ground-breaking invention of all time? The shovel.

What is the most ground-breaking invention of all time? The shovel.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese. #DadJokes

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.

Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion. They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion. They said he’ll be given a tough sentence.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam documentary I have ever seen.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam documentary I have ever seen.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

My eye doctor just told me that I’m color blind. I know, it really came out of the purple.

My eye doctor just told me that I’m color blind. I know, it really came out of the purple.

I want to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.

I want to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.

I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids. That makes me a faux pa.

I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. That makes me a faux pa.

Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.

Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

What is an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The space bar.

What is an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The space bar.

Do you think glass coffins will be a success? Remains to be seen.

Do you think glass coffins will be a success? Remains to be seen.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

Policeman: “Whose car is this, where are you taking it, and what do you do for a living?” Miner: “Mine.”

Policeman: “Whose car is this, where are you taking it, and what do you do for a living?” Miner: “Mine.”

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory. Just one byte and everything crashed.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory. Just one byte and everything crashed.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help. But I stand corrected.

I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help. But I stand corrected.

I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past the letter X. I don’t know why.

I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past the letter X. I don’t know why.

Do you know what’s remarkable? Whiteboards.

Do you know what’s remarkable? Whiteboards.

I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 & 9. The odds were against me.

I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 & 9. The odds were against me.

I made a graph of all my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

I made a graph of all my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

I tripped in France. Eiffel over. #DadJokes

I tripped in France. Eiffel over.

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.

I misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop... I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors.

I misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop… I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors.

People say I’m a plagiarist... Their words, not mine. #DadJokes

People say I’m a plagiarist… Their words, not mine.

I switched the labels on my wife's spice rack.... She hasn’t realized it yet, but I know the thyme is cumin.

I switched the labels on my wife’s spice rack…. She hasn’t realized it yet, but I know the thyme is cumin.

I showed my empty coffee cup to the IT guy and told him that I just finished “Installing Java.”  He hates me. #DadJokes

I showed my empty coffee cup to the IT guy and told him that I just finished “Installing Java.”  He hates me.

Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?" Son: "What are my choices?" Dad: “Yes” or “no”.

Dad: “Would you like anything to eat for dinner?” Son: “What are my choices?” Dad: “Yes” or “no”.

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Steve.

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Steve.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10-tickles!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10-tickles!

My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. My daughter Chewbacca not so much.

My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. My daughter Chewbacca not so much.

People said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.

People said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody!

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody!

Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" Me: "I Excel at it." Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?" Me: “Word!”

Boss: “How good are you at PowerPoint?” Me: “I Excel at it.” Boss: “Was that a Microsoft Office pun?” Me: “Word!”

I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.

I’ve often heard that “icy” is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.

My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" Lovely woman; terrible surgeon. #DadJokes

My mother always used to say “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” Lovely woman; terrible surgeon.

Me: I'm terrified of random letters. Therapist: You are? Me: (Screams) Therapist: I see. Me: (Screams intensify)

Me: I’m terrified of random letters. Therapist: You are? Me: (Screams) Therapist: I see. Me: (Screams intensify)

Did you know that 97% of the people in the world are stupid? Luckily, I’m part of the other 8%!

Did you know that 97% of the people in the world are stupid? Luckily, I’m part of the other 8%!

Her: What do you do? Him: I race cars. Her: Do you win many races? Him: No, the cars are much faster.

Her: What do you do? Him: I race cars. Her: Do you win many races? Him: No, the cars are much faster.

Judge: I order you to pay $10,000 Mario: Why? Judge: It’s a fine. Mario: No itsa not.

Judge: I order you to pay $10,000 Mario: Why? Judge: It’s a fine. Mario: No itsa not.

Someone threw a giant bottle of omega-3 pills at me. I’m fine - I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

Someone threw a giant bottle of omega-3 pills at me. I’m fine – I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

I asked the toy store clerk where the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures were. He replied: “Aisle B, back.”

I asked the toy store clerk where the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures were. He replied: “Aisle B, back.”

What is the best time on a clock? 6:30. Hands down.

What is the best time on a clock? 6:30. Hands down.

People write “Congrats” because they can’t spell Congrajilashins!

People write “Congrats” because they can’t spell Congrajilashins!

People these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

People these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

What do you call a crocodile that is a detective? An investi-gator!

What do you call
a crocodile that
is a detective? An investi-gator!

Did you know that Hooters now offers home delivery? They're calling the service Knockers!

Did you know that
Hooters now offers
home delivery? They’re calling the service Knockers!

Where do you take someone who has been injured playing hide and seek? The I.C.U.

Where do you take
someone who has been
injured playing
hide and seek? The I.C.U.


And there you have it. One of the most extensive collections of Dad Jokes available on this website!

Have your very own, absolute favorite Dad Joke??? Share it with us in the comments below!!!

We hope you enjoyed, laughed, groaned, shook your head with frustration at least twice, and shared the heck out of all of these amazing Dad Joke Memes in honor of the best Dad in your life, even if that is you!

A Dad Jokes FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions About Dad Jokes
Why does my Dad insist on telling these really stupid Dad Jokes?

Because a) He loves you, and b) you drove him crazy with your antics as a child and this is his revenge and c) you used to laugh at them and he misses those days.

Do you have to be a Dad to tell Dad Jokes?

Technically, yes. Otherwise, you’re a faux pa.

Who told the very first Dad Joke?

A dad. Likely to his son. But that’s just a guess. How could anyone possibly know the answer to that question?

What is the most famous Dad Joke?

I’m going to go with…. “Dad, I’m hungry!” with the Dad Joke response of “Hello, Hungry, I’m Dad!”

Are there Uncle Jokes?

Of course not. That’s a ridiculous question! There are, however, Guncle Jokes… which are like Dad Jokes, but far more fabulous!

I’ve heard the same Dad Joke too many times, how do I get him some new material?

First off, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times… don’t exaggerate. Secondly, feel free to send him a link to this page.

How can I stop my Dad from telling Dad Jokes?

You can’t. Deal with it. It’s the least that you owe him after all the crap you put him through (or are going to put him through) as a teenager.

5 comments

  1. Melynda Brown says:

    Just in time for Father’s Day! Pinned.

    1. artandhome says:

      Thanks!!!

  2. Shelbee on the Edge says:

    So much fun! I was recently having a conversation about the nature of dad jokes and now I am completely up to speed on this type of humor! Thanks for sharing and linking up with me!

    Shelbee

  3. Life Diet Health says:

    If only my late father was still alive… there’s a few here he’d love! The Bri’ish one made me laugh (being from the UK)! Thanks for sharing at Fiesta Friday.

  4. Anita Holland says:

    LOL, I had such a giggle. Some were so bad they are actually very good.

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